Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hippo gnu deer
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
