stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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