I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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