some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
