Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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