We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
