Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
