Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
