ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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