Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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