I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
