My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
