I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
