I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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