well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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