Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize