the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
