you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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