hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He better not be in your backpack
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
