Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
