Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.