sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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