the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
