so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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