my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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