And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You made out with two different species that night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
