I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
