After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
