So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.