Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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