Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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