Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
