I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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