Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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