I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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