I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
