How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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