you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
