idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
