you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
