I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
