Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
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Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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