never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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