covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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