I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
