so that wasnt chicken after all
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
