So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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