Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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