Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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