some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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