his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize