just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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