A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
