You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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