his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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