Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
